Tea and Biscuits with P.S Bartlett @PSBartlett

Today we have the lovely PS Bartlett here at the Citadel. Her magical debut novel Fireflies is already creating something of a buzz, and we are blessed that she has taken the time out of her busy schedule to come over and visit us. We, of course, especially love paranormal fiction here on Hrom Hora, and she had added a fascinating historical element to the mix.

The gnomes have taken a shine to her gentle ways and I fear that she will be taking a few of them back to Baltimore - whether she wants to or not. If I were her, I would put them straight to work in doing menial household tasks and constructing a secret writing chamber where she can escape to.

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

I’m extremely pleased to be here as well! I’ve never been fortunate enough to have visited a place like this. I grew up in the inner city, in a place called Baltimore. I’m the youngest of eleven children and now reside in the county. In America, we call it “suburbia.” It’s a nice place to live but if I had my choice, I’d be living on an island in the Caribbean.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

Absolutely! As I said, I’ve never been to a place like this. I love to travel and have been to many wonderful places but none so unique and interesting as the Citadel.

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

I’m riding a rollercoaster. My debut novel “Fireflies” was released the beginning of April and so far, the reviews have been wonderful and I’ve been very happy with the whole process. However, it is also very stressful as I want and need to get back to writing but first and foremost, I must do everything I can to ensure that “Fireflies” continues to succeed.

ML: We are pleased it is going well. Kitty from GMTA is celebrated here in the Citadel, where she is one of the gnomes’ ‘4 Disciples of Gnomism’.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

If my husband is still awake when I get upstairs…oh you meant with my writing!

Absolutely! I’m working on a prequel to “Fireflies.” There is so much more of the story before the story that needs to be told.

ML: Ruby is over the moon about this and is already making space on her Kindle (Candle?) thing.

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

As a mother, I find positive reinforcement a very good tool in getting little people to do their chores. However, I have no experience with gnomes and I’m afraid a trip to Chuck-E-Cheese or letting them stay up past their bed time wouldn’t work. Have you tried begging?

ML: I have tried most methods.. I usually have them begging for mercy in the torture chamber. You could be on to something with being kind to them. However, cheese is most definitely bad – they are addicted to the stuff, and it often leads to cheese riots.

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

Well if he’s right, I’ve heard she’s a pretty cold fish anyway so just put her in a box and ship her back.  If he is mistaken, you can kill two birds with one stone and send the gnomes over to take his mind off of it. I’m sure they could keep him busy.

ML: Sending him some gnomes would be a sure way of tormenting him. I wonder if I could send a few through the post. Hmm?

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

Counting turnips? How many turnips does one woman need I ask you? For goodness sakes most women only need a few and it shouldn’t take that long to count them. Just make a good guess and take her with you to the village for an evening of romance and moonlight. She’ll soon forget about vegetables and be counting stars with you.

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?

The damage is done. All you can do is start over and the best place to start is at the beginning.

Make it rain only at night and allow the sun to shine all day long. Play soft beautiful lullabies to lull the world to sleep and lively reels to rouse everyone from their beds in the morning - dancing. Throw lightening at the evil folk and fill every sail on the sea with a hearty wind. Please keep the snow only on the mountain tops. I love me some snow-capped mountains.

Last but not least…drown every turnip seed. Yes, that should do it!

ML: You certainly know how to keep a chaos lord busy! I suspect you have more knowledge and skills than you are letting on.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

Blog: http://psbartlett.wordpress.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PSBartlett

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PSBartlett

GMTA: http://gmtapublishing.com/bookpages/fireflies.html

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7012732.P_S_Bartlett

ML: Thank you for taking time to visit us, Peggy.  Best of luck with Fireflies, and we hope you are able to find the time to write its prequel.

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Interview with The Mountain Lord at The Edible Bookshelf

It is a very rare thing that I get out and about these days.  So imagine my joy when DelSheree Gladden asked me over to talk about The Chaosifier. It is at a place called The Edible Bookshelf.  In fact I had a sneaky bite of the shelf when DelSheree was not looking.  Delicious! 

Here is the link:

The Edible Bookshelf

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Tea and Biscuits at the Citadel – DelSheree Gladden @DelSheree

   

Today I have the multi-faceted DelSheree Gladden sitting next to me. As well as being the author of the best-selling Twin Souls Saga , she also informs me that she has recently qualified as a Dental Hygienist. While her writing skills are clearly without doubt, I decided to check out her dental knowledge by rounding up a few of our denizens.  She bravely examined the mouths of two gnome keepers (who had three teeth between them), four gnomes (who all seemed to have false teeth), two maids (who both had very fine teeth indeed), and a creature we found lurking near the dungeons (which had a few very pointy teeth and scurried away before we could get its jaws fully open).

On DelSheree’s advice we have now put in a bulk order for 2000 toothbrushes and 400 reels of industrial floss.

 

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

  Well, up until last week I was pretty much living at the college I attend, but now that I have graduated as a Dental Hygienist, I actually get to spend a little time at home with my family, who I think have been wondering where I’ve been for the last two years while I’ve been in school. I have spent most of my life in the high deserts of New Mexico. Despite the sand that is constantly being tracked into my kitchen and the tumbleweeds that never stop blowing into our yard, it is a fabulous place to live thanks to the absolute best sunsets and the ample inspiration for new books I find in local myths and culture.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

  I am getting a kick out of visiting the citadel! Thanks to school, it’s been a while since I’ve taken a vacation that didn’t revolve around me taking a licensing exam. Even with the gnomes hiding my toothbrush and stealing my socks, I’m taking full advantage of the chance to relax!

ML: I tried to warn you gnomes are sneaky. They know the best way to torment a Dental Hygienist is to hide your toothbrush!

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

  I am getting ready for the release of my newest novel, “Wicked Hunger.” This is the first book in my new series, “SomeOne Wicked This Way Comes,” the story of two siblings cursed with a hunger for pain and destruction who must figure out the truth behind what they are before their entire family is destroyed. “Wicked Hunger” is set to be released July 2013 by GMTA Publishing.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

On the literary front, I’ve got a whole mess of promoting, blog tours, interviews, etc. lined up for the release of “Wicked Hunger.”

On the personal front, I just graduated from Dental Hygiene school and I will be spending the next few months while I wait for my license looking for a job. Do the Citadel residents need their teeth cleaned?

ML: I think you will find that most of our residents have very few teeth left. It’s their diet, you see. And if you go down to the catacombs there are creatures with very BIG TEETH. We have lost quite a few gnomes down there.

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

Use the same tactic that works on small children and writers who need to meet a deadline. Bribery.

This is how it works:

1.      Find out what the love most and offer it as a reward for working

2.      Give them their chore list

3.      Place what they want on a really high shelf (well, it may not need to be very high, they are gnomes after all) so they can see it, but not have it until they’re all finished.

This usually works pretty well with kids, but if it doesn’t, try chocolate. That pretty much always works on me.

ML: I like your style. Fight sneakiness with… sneakiness.

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

This one is simple. Find whatever candy you have lying around, and make him a new wife. It worked out pretty well for Peppermint Larry on The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack.

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

Hire a turnip counter and take her on a vacation.

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?

Well, you definitely need an army, but you might want to branch out from gnomes. They aren’t the biggest and scariest creatures. Unless you’re going for the subtle takeover attack plan. They could be useful for sneaking into places and causing chaos that way. A really good army is hard to get. My good friend Libby Sparks had to go all the way to the spirit world to rescue hers.

ML: I think I may have to give Libby a call.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

Readers can stop by to see what myths have come to life recently at:

DelSheree’s Blog

DelSheree’s Website

Facebook

Twitter

Goodreads

Wattpad

Amazon

  

ML: Thank you for coming, DelSheree. We wish you much luck in your dental and literary endeavours.

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Folk of the Citadel

I suppose it is about time I talk about some of the staff I employ here at the Citadel. In fact, there are probably quite a few who are not even on my payroll, but just lurk around because they like it here. At any one time in the Citadel there are countless maids, footmen, porters, kitchen staff, watchmen, entertainers, dungeon keepers, drivers, tailors, craftsmen (and women), stable-staff and one or two wandering chevaliers and minstrels. I dare say we also have one or two rascals, ne’er-do-wells and rapscallions, but luckily the numbers are dwindling. Most likely due to my sending them over to England on character building exercises.

So, not even including the gnomes, who form the bulk of my engineering and scientific community, it is about time I mention a few key household members:

The Gnome Keepers

I doubt you will ever find a more hardy, put-upon and frankly strange bunch of people. Anyone whose job is to look after gnomes is always going to have a very specific set of talents and skills. Insanity is a pre-requisite of the job, and patience a definite plus point.  Fortunately the suicide rate among the keepers has finally levelled out and we no longer need to kidnap potential new staff.

Two families in particular have provided generations of venerable and worthy gnome handlers: The Bombas and the Zmoleks.

Stanislav

My faithful butler and longest serving member of the household.  I am not entirely sure old he is, but he was certainly around when Count Bunglehoff  had his fatal accident constructing the West Wing in 1762.

Stanislav is courteous, wise and utterly trustworthy. He has been dating vivacious town widow Mrs Svobodova for over a year now. There are even rumours that they may even tie the knot one day. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!

Boris

My chief spy and Head of Citadel Secret Police. He is not particularly a popular fellow. But his job description does say: “Monitor and promote chaos whenever and wherever possible.” He is also responsible for my personal security so you had better watch out!

Mrs Petruszka

Mrs Petruszka is the Citadel’s formidable head cook.  If the type of food you enjoy involves copious root vegetables and meat with the consistency of shoe leather, then you are cordially invited to dine with us.

She is currently single again after the unfortunate demise of her 6^th husband, Mr Kopek. You can read about the tragic chain of events just below.

However, their happiness would prove fleeting. Once again the Jizera Mountains would claim the life of yet another of Mrs Petruszka's husbands...

 

Gentlemen, Mrs Petruszka has asked potential suitors to send her a photo and introductory paragraph. She has requested that you list any significant financial holdings. Send to:

Madame Ludmilla Petruszka

Head Cook

The Kitchens

The Citadel

Hrom Hora

The Karkonose Mountains

Central Europe

The Mountain Lord

I do not really want to talk about myself too much. I think it is better left for other people to say.  You can read about me on Wikipedia by following this link:  Rübezahl (Lord of the Mountains).

Princess Ruby

Rubena is my beloved and long-suffering spouse.  I am still counting turnips for her – a task which grows more and more impossible as the years go by.  At one time she was all set to marry Dracula. That was until she met me, of course. You can read more about these events in The Chaosifier. They happened such a long time ago, but I can still remember them as if they were yesterday. Sigh.

Vlad Dracula

He is not technically a member of the Citadel, but his presence is often felt here.

Actually, not much needs to be said about him really. Our feud goes through quiet patches and then suddenly things just get a bit, erm, out of hand. It is his fault, of course.

GAH!!!

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Have YOU been to the Citadel yet? #ebooks #humour

                    
                  

   http://mountain-lord.blogspot.co.uk/

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The Citadel Guest List (so far) #amwriting

Here is the list of brave adventurers who have visited us at the Citadel.  There has been plenty of merriment and mayhem with these splendid people, I can tell you. We have had everything from gnome kidnappings and gnome throwing, to colourful fashion tips and Kevlar lab wear. There has even been a night in the village police station (which I do not really want to say anything more about).

What is more, we have still managed to avoid any loss of life (I think), thank goodness. Quite the opposite. In fact, I would swear that one or two of these authors may still be camped out in the Forest of Enchantment or hiding somewhere in the dungeons.

You can follow the links to read their interviews:


P.S. Bartlett

DelSheree Gladden

Michele Riccio

Candace L. Bowser

Shehanne Moore

Marie Egles Carhart (on behalf of J.R. Egles)

Jonathan Mills

Catherine Cavendish

Steve Emmett

Earlier Guests:

Paul D Brazill

Graham Smith

Victoria Watson

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Tea and Biscuits with Author Michele Riccio

It is so wonderful having such lovely visitors coming to the Citadel right now, and Michele Riccio is no exception. We particularly like the title and cover of her book I Do-Over: Confession of a Recalcitrant Bridesmaid , which made my butler Stanislav laugh so hard that he dropped Michele's mojito, and nearly fell off the terrace into the Chasm of Despair far below. If it was not for Michele's quick reactions in grabbing him by the feet, we would have lost him for sure!

 

 

 

 

Michele is also the most scientific guest we have had so far, and her insights into chaos technology is proving something of a revelation with the lab gnomes. I think Bindl might even be in love! I am just not sure about Kevlar lab wear. It will make the little creatures harder to flog - surely?

Anyway, I think she may have got them to start up the new chaos device. I had better go and see what is happening. The plaster is starting to fall off the walls...

                          

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

 Background... like, the color of the wall behind me? Beige. The apartment came pre-painted.

OK, fine. I was born just outside of Boston, MA (USA). Did 12 years in Catholic school. Survived it with most of my humor and intact (though it was mangled and twisted a bit). Then attended a tiny college in Bar Harbor Maine where I learned taxidermy and critical thinking, among other things.

 After college I came back to Boston, got a job, and spend my weekdays doing office-work. Weekends I can be found typing frantically at my laptop writing or editing my current novel (occasionally researching, checking emails, Facebook, or looking up hints for completing Dragon Age 2 as a rogue).

 

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

 Immensely. I've always loved touring historic sites such as the Citadel. I have a new-found appreciation for Sherpas after mountain trekking. And the tur... garden was divine. However, I must say the lab technicians made my stay truly memorable. Techs are my kind of people, and I am so happy to have been allowed a chance to hang out, discussing the merits of Kevlar lab coats and designer goggles.

 I do wish someone had mentioned the prohibition against flash photography in the chaos chamber. However, I'm sure my insurance will cover the damages...

 

ML: Phew, I am so glad you did not say THAT word. Do not worry about the damage. I will have the gnome that allowed you to do it put in the stocks immediately.

 

 Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

 I've recently self-published my first novel (I Do-Over: Confession of a Recalcitrant Bridesmaid – about a woman forced to partake in her sister's 'do over' wedding) and am preparing for a mid-summer release of my second novel, published by GMTA, Sex Lives and Dental Chairs.

Sex Lives focuses on Jane, a woman hiding from her past in a small Maine town. Unfortunately for Jane, her past finds her.

 I've been accused of torturing my protagonists. Luckily there is no society for the prevention of cruelty to imaginary people. Poor Jane had to cope with a sex-addict neighbor who goes missing. A man in a ski mask who seems to be stalking her apartment. And a root canal. All while juggling a job she faked her resume to qualify for, a boss who may not be as trustworthy as Jane first thought, and unrequited love.

 I think it falls into the romantic-comic genre. Or maybe the comic-romance genre. I never could keep them straight.

 

 

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

 I'm preparing a final edit of a fantasy novel Aurora – a retelling of Sleeping Beauty, from Beauty's point of view – publishing date to be determined. And I'm working on a more mainstream, less comic, novel which is about mid-way through the process of determining a plot.

 

 

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

 As a mad scientist, I rely on minions to do my bidding. I've found ice hockey works wonders with them. After starting an all minion league (which required the forging of contracts amongst other mad scientists for the participation of their minions) production rates increased by 48% and random acts of workplace violence dropped 3%. Dental bills have increased, as many of the minions now require partial dentures, but overall I am quite happy with the program. And, I can set you up with a skate manufacturer specializing in hard to fit sizes.

 ML: I will speak to the gnome keepers about this. The little creatures have so much pent up energy and anger that this might just be a release for them. The Citadel dentist will need re-training somewhat, however.

 

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

 The thing Achilles heel of vampires is their absurdly easy to research weaknesses. Send a 'Sunshine Bouquet' (guaranteed to give him a bad skin rash – at the very least). Invite him out for an Italian dinner (sure to disagree with him – I can recommend several good restaurants). Or, bury the axe... with a personalized stake through the heart.

 I've heard an industrial wind machine will make short work of a vampire-turned-mist. And hawks can be trained to snatch up tasty bat snacks.

ML: You could be right. I usually send 'bad' weather over to him. I have not thought about sunshine. It has been staring me in the face all these centuries!

 

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

 My books are/will be available on Amazon.com:

 

Michele's Amazon Author Page

 

And I have a budding web site:     http://www.michelericcio.com

which isn't nearly as fancy as the Citadel, but is a work in progress (I hope to add a flying buttress soon).

 

ML: Any guest who refers to architecture is a splendid guest indeed.

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Frank Duffy's Marvellous Music Posting

News just in. Old friend and visitor to the Karkonose talks about the role of music and writing.  There are many contributors to this enlightening post.


In the words of Gnome Master Paul Brazill:

Frank Duffy takes a look at music and writing. With contributions from Stephen Bacon, Mike Evers, Ian Ayris, Howard Linskey, Kate Laity, Lisa Tuttle, Paul Brazill and many many more.

Follow the link:

Suspected gnome shaman Frank Duffy

 The Horrifically Horrifying Horror Blog

 

 

 

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The Villagers of Stary Hrom

 

 

 

Far below the Citadel, nestled in the lower reaches of Thunder Mountain, is the pretty alpine village of Stary Hrom (English trans: 'Old Thunder'). At one time the journey to and from the settlement was fairly treacherous, and more than a little bit tiring, but the situation has recently been greatly improved by the construction of an underground funicular railway. The brainchild of gnome genius Wornl Greyflap no less.

Whilst the Citadel is a fascinating place in its own right, I have always been partial to going down to the village. I will admit I can still occasionally bring them mischief, and in the past have brought them more than their fair share of misery and chaos. In fact, they know me as the slightly eccentric and generally benevolent character, Lord John. They are good people, you see. But it is so hard for a leopard to truly change its spots, do you not think?

At other times I might visit the place in disguise, and then again I might not. It is all part of the fun.  The current crop of villagers are perhaps the most interesting I have ever observed. So it is without further ado I would like to mention some of them.

 

Old Man Wenceslas

Wenceslas is definitely the most enigmatic inhabitant of the village. His inscrutability is only matched by his hospitality, and he is the only being that I would say can best me in outright eccentricity.  He is well known for suffering from recurring medical ailments, many of which have baffled some of the finest medical brains in Prague.

He is legendary for the fiery moonshine he often produces in his garden shed.  In 1878 he produced the infamous 'Nose Bleeder Spirit', which was banned by the authorities. Furthermore, he was arrested in 1942 by the Nazi occupiers for spiking their water tanks with 'Gut Gurgler'. The Gestapo only managed to hold him for about two hours before he miraculously escaped. More recently, he has produced 'Befuddler', 'Pillow Seeker' and the ever-popular 'Toe Curler Hooch'.

He is said to be as old as Methuselah, and I can concur with that judgement. However, his origins and true nature have always eluded me, and I suspect that powerful magick is surely involved.

 

 

 

Vilem the Goat-herder   

Stoic and quietly spoken. Vilem watches over his flock and the oversees village from a distance. He very occasionally visit the village tavern, where he is heard to mutter incomprehensibly to his drink through a dirt-encrusted straggly beard. It is said that he has a wife somewhere, but I find this doubtful. His first love is looking after goats - and he is very good at it.  The year before last, attention was drawn to poor Vilem during an outbreak of mysterious events in the village.

 

 

Mr Pospisil

The village's amiable and bumbling fire warden.  He is in the village tavern so often that the hostelry is also known by the informal soubriquet: The Fire Station.

 

Mrs Svobodova

Monied widow and member of one of the village's oldest landowning families. She more or less spends most of her time here at the Citadel as she is still in courtship with my faithful butler, Stanislav. I am sure they are yet to share a kiss - but that is probably none of my business. Rome was not built in a day!

Here is a reminder of an early rendezvous between the happy pair:

 

 

 

 

Sergeant Valdek

Veceslav Valdek runs the village station, where he administers justice and directs a force of  two constables in the task of policing Stary Hrom and its surrounding environs.  Sergeant Valdek is an old-fashioned and headstrong old goat, but I harbour a quiet respect for the man. I will admit our paths have crossed on more than one occasion, and he is still the person who gets my mischief juices flowing the most (after Vlad Dracula, of course, but is not a 'person' per se).

 

 

 

Sergeant Valdek is also something of a national celebrity nowadays, due to the combined factors of possessing a particularly magnificent moustache, and for the brave and effective resistance he organised in the village against the attacking forces of NATO in the Time of Chaos.  You can read about the sergeant's minor but nonetheless impressive role in The Chaosifier.

Okay, I concede. His moustache is worthy. Maybe.

 

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Tea and Biscuits with Author Candace L. Bowser

The Citadel has been graced with a rather ethereal and mysterious presence of late who goes by the name of Candace L Bowser.  She is at once, incredibly urbane and charming, but also possesses an aura of the Otherworld that I have not sensed for quite some time - not since the episode with the werewolf in Old Man Wenceslas' garden shed.

I also have the nagging feeling that she might be secretly working for Vlad Dracula so I have sent Boris, my chief spy, to keep an eye on her. However, I think her trail may have gone cold somewhere in the Forest of Confusion.

Before Candace disappeared in a puff of fragrant smoke, she took the time to answer my questions.

                             

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

I was born in Altoona, Pennsylvania, reared in Bedford County, and currently reside in the Kansas City Metro area in a mystical land called ‘the apartment’ with two cats (at least I think they are cats. They could be fairies in disguise) and my loving husband. My writing experience is varied. During the 1980’s I wrote for PRS magazine in Kansas City, and in 2011 was named one of the Top Twenty Most Prolific Authors of the year. My work has been featured on Faces of Kansas and the Jon Austin Book Club. I have twelve published books with two under contract with GMTA Publishing and three more in the works. Generally, horror is what draws me, but I also write paranormal romance, suspense, and intrigue.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

I have found the Karkonose Mountains to be a place of great enlightenment and fantasy. Perhaps I shall stay awhile.

 

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

Right now my thoughts are lost in two upcoming novels which will be released under a pen name at the suggestion of an agent, who stated that though they like my work considerably, they suggested trying a pen name, something more intriguing, and requested a bit of a re-write on the submitted work…. (Rest assured, I am smiling deviously at this moment), so those are consuming a great deal of my time. I also am considering different venues for forthcoming releases and have three separate public libraries on the coast which would like me to come do a book signing. This summer two books are to be released with my new publisher.

 

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

I have two upcoming releases, one in June and one in July/August. The first one is The Mirror (a paranormal romance which involves a cursed mirror, secret societies, and the Catholic Church) and Memoirs of an Immortal Life (which details the lives of three very connected people, Vlad Tepes, Belcor Tepes, and Belcor’s daughter from 13^th century bastions to the present day).

ML: Vlad Tepes? Surely not...HIM. GAH!!!

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

I have always found that gnomes can be plied with a bit of good garden tending and sweet fragrant wine, one with a bit of flower essence. Perhaps you have just not found the right ‘essence’ they prefer!

ML: If you are ever stuck for a job, we may have a post for you here as Head Gnome Keeper, Candace. I fear I may be treating them too harshly.

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

Alas, I am afraid no words of wisdom can be offered. Vlad and I are quite well acquainted; I am afraid he would look poorly upon such involvement. (and I should like to keep my head and my blood where it is…)

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

Count your turnips and give her jewelry…what fair maiden does not like a shining bobble or two? Then it is off to the pub!

ML: I am hoping Ruby does not see this one.  She has already cost me a fortune over the centuries.

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?

Redeeming one’s self is such a boring and arduous task. Besides, most of them will not believe you have truly changed. So I say practice and once again wreak havoc. The rewards and the bounty of such dis-pleasurable behaviour surely will attract others of a like mind!

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

My ebooks are available everywhere (ie Smashwords, Amazon, Diesel, Kobo, Sony, Apple etc..)

My printed works are available through Amazon and Lulu.

My website address is www.candacelbowser.com where active links to all of my pages are available.

ML: I really love the magical Celtic feel of this. Lovely cover, too. Thanks for coming, Candace.

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