Tea and biscuits - with author Paul Brazill

I have to say that is a great honour to be sitting in the citadel bar drinking Thunder Ale with none other than Mr Paul Brazill.  A man regarded in such high esteem for his support and friendship of the citadel that he has earned the rare and coveted title of Honorary Gnome Master.  It is even said that there is a statue of him in Kathmandu, which is worshipped by gnome shamans. I am not completely sure about this, but knowing the man like I do, it would not surprise me in the least.

We are sat overlooking the grand Thunder Gorge from the bar terrace and I can report that we have already seen off half a barrel of ale, as well as most of our supply of Polish beer, Lech, and a rather strange concoction from an odd-shaped, black bottle we found in a spider’s cave. Please forgive me if any of this comes out slurred.

Greetings, Gnome Master. How are you enjoying your visit to the citadel?

It’s a bit high up for me. I get vertigo in thick socks. Nice bar you have here, though. Didn't know you liked Lech beer.

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

Like Robert De Niro, I’m  waiting and talkin’ Italian (talkin’ Italian). Well, actually, the Italian publisher Lorenzo  Mazzoni's Atlantis eBooks are going to be publishing a novelette of mine, which is being translated into Italian as we speak.

The story  is part of a series set in different cities of the world. My story is set in Warsaw, Poland, a city that you know well, I believe? The books are being launched over the summer. Other writers involved include K A Laity and Richard Godwin.

And there are two anthologies out at the moment that I curated, Drunk On The Moon and True Brit Grit (with Luca Veste) - and both are doing very nicely indeed.

  

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

I’ve stories coming out in a couple of anthologies and hopefully a couple of my ripping yarns will be podcast over the summer. And the Guns of Brixton novella really should surface sometime this year-eyes and legs crossed.

You are a holder of the coveted (and extremely rare) title ‘Honorary Gnome Master’.   What impact has this had on your life?  Can you give us any insights into the incredible world of gnome husbandry? What makes the little creatures tick?

Well, gnome is where the heart is and there’s nothing worse than be gnomeless. But you know what they say, in every dream gnome a heartache.

Well, thank you so much for your time, Paul. I will see if I can get my butler to summon a taxi of some description.  I just know you are going to love the show in the village tavern this evening.  Just do not let on to Princess Ruby that we are going…

The Robin Hood legend in #Yorkshire

It seems the legend of Robin Hood in Yorkshire is starting to be recognised. We will see, I guess.  You can read more about it in this article about The Spirit Archer.  This is only scratching the surface about how amazing this whole topic is though: 

http://www.examiner.co.uk/neighbourhood-news/mirfield-ravensthorpe/community-news/2012/05/15/mirfield-author-inspired-by-robin-hood-legend-86081-30969360/

In my opinion, the tales and ballads about his death are not known about nearly enough.

What do you think?

Life in the Citadel - An Update

Hi folks,

We have been so busy renovating the citadel lately, that I have neglected to let you know what is happening here on Thunder Mountain.  Princess Ruby has also heard lots of the gossip from the village, so I will attempt to pass on some of the news:

• The gnomes are on a tour of the Himalayas, which is where many of them came from.  I have been accused of cruelty towards them in the past, and I hope my sanctioning of this trip will go some way towards allaying some of the bad feelings.  I have already heard some reports of their ransacking a bar in Kathmandu, but I will take such unwelcome news merely as hearsay at the moment. 

• Princess Ruby has begun taking an interest in modern art.  I have nothing against this, really. However, I did get the shock of my life this morning when I tripped over a sculpture installation involving brass penguins. Very strange.

• My faithful Butler, Stanislav, is still dating the sprightly widow, Mrs Svobodova.  There is even talk of them going an a sightseeing trip in the Jizera Mountains.  I just hope to goodness that he does not have a terrible hiking accident like my head cook, Mrs Petruszka's last two husbands.  Incidentally, I hear the she has met another man, who is also said to be very wealthy. She seems to be getting very rich herself, I notice.

• In the village, that wily old policeman, Sergeant Valdek, is said to be baffled by a spate of strange happenings - including the appearance of a family of goats on the roof of the village tavern. This has absolutely nothing to do with me, I swear!

Anyway, I hope you are all well.

ML

The Karkonose Mountains - Some Facts

The Karkonose Mountains (Polish: Karkonosze  Czech: Krkonoše) lie between Poland and the Czech Republic, separating the regions of Silesia and Bohemia.

The mountain range is the source of the mighty River Elbe and is popular in Poland and Czech Republic for skiing, hiking, and various outdoor activities.  It is a very beautiful place and its natural beauty is recognised by the United Nations (Unesco programme) and it is protected as a nature reserve in both countries, where it has been afforded 'National Park' status. 

The region is known for its legends and is sometimes referred to as The Giant Mountains.  In Germanic folklore the mountains provide the location for the ballad: The Shepherd of the Giant Mountains and is also known as the home of a troublesome mountain spirit known as Rubezahl. Oh, that's me by the way, in case you did not know.

The region is featured in Mike Evers' novel, The Chaosifier, where it is the location of my home on Thunder Mountain.  Can you find it on a map, I wonder?  Mike also included some actual locations in the book, for example, Chojnik Castle.

Anyway, that's enough for now. The Karkonose Mountains are such a wonderful place. You really must visit me some time.

The Karkonose - Wikipedia

Tea and Biscuits - with author Graham Smith #amreading

Enjoying tea and biscuits at the citadel – Author Graham Smith

I am very pleased to announce that crime writer, Graham Smith, is a guest at the citadel.  Graham hails from the Scottish border with England and is quite often found in the town of Gretna Green – famous for being where eloping young couples get married.  I am sure that he has supervised hundreds of such matrimonial couplings (and personally fended off swarms of angry, shotgun-toting fathers, to boot).


Welcome, Graham. Are you enjoying your visit to the citadel?

Yes thank you. It's very scenic and peaceful here. I could happily use this place as a writing retreat. Is there somewhere I can plug my laptop in? Do you have wifi?

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

I've just finished the first draft of my debut novel. I have had a story accepted into Action - Pulse Punding Tales - Volume one which is being editing by Matt Hilton and also features such names as Stephen Leather, Adrian Magson, Col Bury and David Barber to name but a few.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

I am resting from the novel just now and plan to start editing it in a month or so. In the meantime I will be writing a number of short stories in my usual hard boiled manner. I have had a good chat with Harry Charters and he has told me his back story so that is very high on my to do list. I have a recently finished a piece for the Bloody Scotland short story competition and it's a piece which I'm really pleased with.

You are a good friend of legendary detective, Harry Charters.  Can you give us any insights into what makes him tick?

Harry is a straightforwardly complex kind of guy. He is a decent person who has hidden himself inside a bottle after he made a bad mistake. He has good values and is honest, polite and caring of others despite his gruff exterior. However once he's crossed or sees a real or imagined injustice then he becomes the devil incarnate. He'll kill without a second thought, maim with impunity and if he wants you to tell him something then you better tell him 'cause he's happy to use torture on you. Conversely while he is not close to his family he loves them dearly and would do anything to protect them.

In answer to your question - we do indeed have wi-fi. In fact it was set up by the gnomes more than 50 years ago, so we are pioneers in the whole field of wireless technology here at the citadel.

Graham has two fantastic books available on Amazon right now. You can have a look at them here:

Harry Charters - A force to be reckoned with! @GrahamSmith1972

A few weeks ago, Boris - my chief of secret police, informed me that my chaos network was being investigated by an American investigator by the name of Maynard Soloman. Fortunately, we managed to put him off the scent, and his Winnebago was last seen somewhere in Minnesota.

However, it now appears that our UK operation has attracted the attention of a new, altogether different type of gumshoe.  Boris even told me they attempted to spike his bourbon with a spot of horse tranquilizer, and he barely even noticed.  Now, I am not usually one to encourage such things, but this man is clearly a force to be reckoned with.

Boris is now doing some research on this veritable juggernaut.  His name is Harry Charters. Perhaps you would do well to find out about him, too.

The Chaosifer - Sizzling Second Edition Out Now! #Kindle

The sizzling second edition is out!

I am so pleased that people can read more about me once again.  Most of what is written in the novel is not  exactly what happened. 

Hmm? Okay - so it is what happened - sort of.

I am a reformed character now. Honest!

You can find the pristine new version of The Chaosifier through these links:

Amazon UK

Amazon USA

Tea and Biscuits at the Citadel – with #author Victoria Watson

Thanks so much for inviting me over for tea and biccies, the life of an author is usually pretty lonesome so it's nice to catch up with my writing buddies.

Welcome, Victoria. Are you enjoying your visit to the citadel?

The Citadel is so beautiful and the tea's pretty good, I'm on a diet though so no biccies for me! The company's pretty good too although I would be quite happy to sit here on my own, taking in the scenery and feeling inspired. How's Princess Ruby doing? Will she be joining us?

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer?

Life for me is pretty hectic at the moment. I recently published 'Letting Go' Amazon UK (Letting Go) a collection of my short stories and I am getting a lot of positive feedback from that. The only big complaint is that people want longer stories from me so that's pretty good! So now I am working on more short stories as well as a novel. I spend a lot of time publicising my work and tweeting. I'm so lucky to be part of a wonderful online community of supportive people.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

Following a blog post I wrote the other week (http://bloomhq.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/why-reading-is-so-important-to-me.html), I've set up a campaign called 'I Am Woman'  I am woman campaign  with two wonderful ladies on Twitter (@MrsBPR and @thepurplediva). We're asking for women writers to donate short stories and poems for our charity anthology and I'm currently reviewing submissions. But the guys don't need to worry, we're asking all writers to submit signed copies of their books to be auctioned off or given away as part of the campaign. The 'I Am Woman' Campaign is about using our voices to help other women. To raise awareness of women across the planet who have in effect 'lost their voice' or had it taken away...either through, fear, abuse, illness or war. We all have a voice, whether that be through our blogs, social networks or talking to people in our daily lives. We must speak for them until they can do it for themselves.

So that's going to keep me very busy!

Thank you so much for travelling to the citadel to stay with us, Victoria. Princess Ruby is incredibly excited you are here and is already planning a trip to the village to try some local delicacies and enjoy a display of clog dancing. I warn you to be careful with the local Thunder Ale, however.

Best of luck with all your ventures, my lady.

ML

Snapshots by Paul D Brazill #ebook #BritGrit

Mr Paul Brazill is regarded in such high esteem here at the citadel that he holds the rare and coveted title of Honorary Gnome Master.


Well, now the honour is mine and I am proud to announce the release of his fantastic collection of short stories - Snapshots.  If you like funny, gritty, wry stories, which are written with panache - this is the book for you. A veritable bargain price, too.

You can get hold of this meisterwerk via these links:

                                       Amazon UK

                                      Amazon USA

#RobinHood 's grave in #Yorkshire

I have been doing a little research and I can barely believe that so few people are aware of Robin Hood's grave. Mike has used the location in Kirklees, Yorkshire as the setting for his new novella, The Spirit Archer, and he tells me that even where he lives (in a town nearby) hardly anyone seems to know about it. My goodness! In some countries it would be a major tourist attraction.

There is some interesting information about the grave on this website:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bradford/sense_of_place/robin_hood.shtml

The Spirit Archer is finally out!

Well, much like the moon landing - we are over the moon here at the citadel about the release of Mike's new novella - The Spirit Archer. Apparently, it is already creating something of a stir. My goodness!

You can find it on Amazon at these sites:

Amazon UK

Amazon USA

The Spirit Archer - Cover Poll

GMTA Publishing has been running a poll to select the best cover for Mike Evers' new novella, The Spirit Archer. The publisher has been careful to obtain permission to use the artwork.

Mike is extremely pleased that the cover photo is the actual grave used in the story. It is located on the grounds of the former Kirklees Priory in Yorkshire ('Kirkdale Priory' in the book) and is less than two miles from the author's home.  It is the (alleged) resting place of an extremely famous English outlaw.  However, the story is like no other featuring this legendary character.

Variations of images have been entered in the poll, three of which are on the right hand side of the blog. Feel free to comment.

Splendid work by Kitty at GMTA I must say.

Great Minds...

Mike Evers is extremely excited, proud and happy to announce that he will be working with GMTA Publishing with his forthcoming new novella: The Spirit Archer.

He is over the moon that his new publisher is as enthusiastic, passionate and hopeful about the project as he is, and is most impressed at the level of skill, creativity and professionalism of GMTA Publishing already.

I can report that he sent me a text earlier (which I suspect may have been slightly drunken). It said simply this:

:o)

Most wonderful, I say!

Mrs Petruszka's fixation with murder - 'The Perfect Game'

In the last couple of days there has been a lack of focus in the kitchen.  It would seem our esteemed cook, Mrs Petruszka, has become addicted to murderous stories and the like.  So, I fear our tastebuds must suffer more than usual until her grisly thirst is quenched.  It could be some time. 

At the moment she says 'The Perfect Game' by John Hansen is a very fine read indeed.  Who would have thought she would like such things!



UK 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Perfect-Game-ebook/dp/B007CBQOSC/ref=sr_1_20?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1330101223&sr=1-20

USA 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Perfect-Game-ebook/dp/B007CBQOSC/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1330102415&sr=8-9#_

Ale Curling - NOT a future Olympic sport

There is an air of silence over the citadel today.  Once again the gnomes have managed to disgrace themselves, and have sullied the good reputation they earned through recent sporting triumphs. 

I will not go into detail, but let me say that 'ale curling' does not involve ice, curling stones, or any such sporting accoutrements.  It does, however, involve copious amounts of beer and a powerful desire to ransack the cheese cellar (again). 

Therefore, it is with something of a heavy heart that I must punish the little creatures, and return them to a diet of gruel and dry biscuits.

Maynard Soloman - A man on a mission

It appears my spy network in the USA has been rattled of late.  Boris, my insightful and resourceful chief of secret police, informs me that our chaos network is being investigated by a querulous man known as Maynard Soloman.  The man even had the temerity to block the entrance to our Washington hideout with something called a 'winnebago'. Two of our agents managed to break into this mobile house and discovered the following ebook, which details some of his earlier investigations.  Even Boris has been reading it and says it is very entertaining indeed.  You can find out yourself:


Amazon UK:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Funny-Detective-Stories-Starring-ebook/dp/B0076TZUEY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328955707&sr=8-1

Amazon USA:
http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Detective-Stories-Starring-ebook/dp/B0076TZUEY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1328955829&sr=8-2

Two lovely books from bonnie Scotland

I was checking through my mail this morning and I was surprised to find a message from Cousin Hamish in Brigadoon. I will not bore you with the drunken scribbling that made up much of this particular missive, but I'd like you draw your attention to this part:

"...blah blah... and then me wee lassie, Euna, appeared, bearing two fine gems upon her strange device.  Such a gleeful smile I ne'er seen...."  

It appears Euna has put these new ebooks on her, um, Kindle (candle?) thingy and is loving them to bits. Apparently they are by a wonderful Scottish lady known as McDroll. You can find out more about them by clicking on the links below:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wrong-Delivery-Corrins-Eyes-ebook/dp/B0075YHO3A/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1328698298&sr=8-2#_


http://www.amazon.co.uk/KICK-IT-TOGETHER-ebook/dp/B00762LXC4/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1328698298&sr=8-4

The Thunder Mountain Cup (Bobsleigh)

Well, what an event!    

I can report from a very icy Thunder Mountain that the highly-anticipated bobsleigh event turned out to be not only very exciting and spectacular, but also highly surprising.

I am afraid to say the Robin Hood All Stars failed to turn up due to being stuck in heavy snow in Belgium.  Furthermore, the event got off to a late start due to Puck’s Merry Mischief Makers sabotaging the starting system. This was foul play - for which they got their first warning.

First to start were the Dwarven Ox-cart Stunt Display Team, who looked very impressive, but did not make it off the start when the one of the wheels fell off their cart. They, however, bravely (or foolishly) chose to ignore the clear setback, flying off the track at the first bend. Fortunately, they landed safely in a snow drift and added a theatrical flourish which was much appreciated by the crowd.  The stewards are now looking into the suitability of their ‘sleigh’, and questions have been raised about why they were allowed to use it in the first place.

Next up were the Black Forest Wood Elves, who had spoken confidently about their skills, but were clearly out of their element, notching up slow times in both rounds.  They also received a warning for taking pot shots at small woodland creatures as they whizzed around the track.  Their bows will be returned to them at the time of their departure to the Black Forest.

There had been much expectation about the terrifying Frost Giants, and there had been talk of them walking away with the event.  If they had demanded the trophy, I doubt anyone would have stopped them taking it.  However, despite all the predictions, they never even made it to the first bend after their tremendous bulk caused them to become wedged in the track.  It took more than an hour to free them, and it was very sad to see the great giant, Fingur, break down and blubber like a child. They were last seen stomping into the forest, tearful and embarrassed.

And so on to our boys: The delay caused by Wimpl the Unwilling, once again refusing to come out of the ale tent, played to The Thunder Mountain Gnomes advantage. It was during the delay that someone noticed the small explosive device cunningly placed under their bob, causing a great fracas at the starting gate. Luckily, a passing dwarf defused the device and expert driver-gnome, Bundl Fugglebum, guided the team to a fast first heat. Their insane pace was probably helped by truculent brake-gnome, Wimpl, choosing not to slow the bob at any point. 

Puck's Merry Mischief Makers also posted a quick time in the first heat in their amazing Hobgoblin Special.  There had been questions over the legality of the sleigh, but after receiving a whiff of magic dust from the rear, the course master allowed it to continue.  There were also some issues about the inclusion of a suspected wood-demon in the team, but these fears were soon allayed.

Which brings me to the exciting finale:  I can report that the gnomes pulled off a miraculous final heat, despite a sudden and mysterious fall of smog caused by swamp gas. Somehow Bundl fended off the diabolical enticements of Will-o’-the – wisp, whose unexpected and mesmerising appearance on the track led to a stewards’ enquiry and the removal of Puck’s mischief makers from the event.

So, it is with great pride that I can post the following results:

1^st place  -   The Thunder Mountain Gnomes

2^nd place – Black Forest Wood Elves

3^rd place    - The Dwarven Ox-cart Stunt Display Team (out on first bend)

I am already looking forward to next year’s event.