I am very pleased with the progress of my new diet. I have so far managed to abide countless bowls of Mrs Petrushka's infamous cabbage soup, as well as - dare I say it - turnip surprise. The surprise is that the hideous creation is not used as a biological weapon.
In fact, I am generally doing extremely well - until late at night - when I have an incredible urge to scoff half of the pantry. Last night I was nearly caught sampling the Triple Cream Chocolate Fudge Sundae. There is no harm in just a spoon or two, surely?