We have been so busy renovating the citadel lately, that I have neglected to let you know what is happening here on Thunder Mountain. Princess Ruby has also heard lots of the gossip from the village, so I will attempt to pass on some of the news:
- The gnomes are on a tour of the Himalayas, which is where many of them came from. I have been accused of cruelty towards them in the past, and I hope my sanctioning of this trip will go some way towards allaying some of the bad feelings. I have already heard some reports of their ransacking a bar in Kathmandu, but I will take such unwelcome news merely as hearsay at the moment.
- Princess Ruby has begun taking an interest in modern art. I have nothing against this, really. However, I did get the shock of my life this morning when I tripped over a sculpture installation involving brass penguins. Very strange.
- My faithful Butler, Stanislav, is still dating the sprightly widow, Mrs Svobodova. There is even talk of them going an a sightseeing trip in the Jizera Mountains. I just hope to goodness that he does not have a terrible hiking accident like my head cook, Mrs Petruszka's last two husbands. Incidentally, I hear the she has met another man, who is also said to be very wealthy. She seems to be getting very rich herself, I notice.
- In the village, that wily old policeman, Sergeant Valdek, is said to be baffled by a spate of strange happenings - including the appearance of a family of goats on the roof of the village tavern. This has absolutely nothing to do with me, I swear!
Anyway, I hope you are all well.