Saturday, 25 May 2013

Tea and Biscuits with Author Helena Fairfax @HelenaFairfax

 
 



I am sitting on the terrace overlooking the Chasm of Despair with romance author, Helena Fairfax, who has been telling about her brand new novel - The Silk Romance. If thoughts of the chasm are enough to make one feel like leaping over the parapet, I can assure you that Helena is wonderful company and my thoughts are very pleasant ones indeed.   

I am also very pleased that Helena brought her dog along to the Citadel, too. It is rare thing that we have such fine animals here on the mountain.  Helena tells me that she is a 'rescue dog', in that Helena rescued her from previous maltreatment and given her a loving and caring home.  However, what we were not expecting was for her to save my butler, Stanislav, from the clutches of a giant spider. The poor man had wandered into one of the old rooms in the East Wing and fallen foul to the ravenous arachnid.  We heard his desperate screams and, fearing the worst, rushed over to help him.  I had thought him a goner, for sure, as we entered the chamber - but Helena's dog fearlessly pounced on the foul creature and sent it scurrying up to the rafters, hissing and spitting. She is definitely a 'rescue' dog - that is for sure!

Anyway, Helena is about to go for a walk in the Jizera Mountains. Here is the interview we did earlier:



                                                                                       Helena Fairfax


We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose, Helena. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?
It’s lovely to be here, o Mountain Lord!  Thanks for inviting me.  It’s fabulous to be drinking tea up here in the citadel.  Great view!  My home is in the Victorian town of Saltaire, right next to the Yorkshire moors.

 

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
It’s been brilliant.  It’s a bit out of the way, but luckily I’m used to walking, since I’m out tramping the moors every day with my dog, rain or snow – which it generally does.  Oh, and I brought my dog with me today.  I hope you don’t mind?  She can be quite aggressive, because she’s a rescue dog and has had a bad time previously.  In fact, she doesn’t particularly like gnomes.  I’m wondering if it was a gnome who caused her a trauma in her previous life.  Anyway, if you could warn your gnomes to keep their distance.  I wouldn’t like any of them to be set on.

ML:  I am wondering if I could clone her as a 'gnome dog'.  Legend has it that these magnificent animals existed long ago, but vanished during the Lumpl Epoch.

 

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.
My very first novel, The Silk Romance, was published on May 24th by MuseItUp Publishing, and is now available in e-format.  It’s been a really exciting time for me, and I’ve had a great response to my book.  It’s a sweet romance between a Frenchman and a young English girl, set in the silk-weaving district of Lyon.  It’s an uplifting story, and if you like happy endings, you’ll enjoy this one.

ML: It looks wonderful.  Princess Ruby has talked about nothing else all week!
 

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
I have a second novel out in September – The Antique Love – and I’m supposed to be working on my third as we speak, but the lure of tea and biscuits in the citadel has proved too great to resist!

 

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?
I’ll just let my dog off the lead…

ML: The little creatures are squealing already. What an effect! The giant spider population seems to be getting smaller, too.






I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?
For advice, I would turn to the pages of my novel, The Silk Romance, and ask myself “What would Jean-Luc do?”  Jean-Luc is the hero of my story.  I think the answer is, he would keep a dignified silence.  If approached by Vlad, he would wither him with the lift of a Gallic eyebrow, before giving an indifferent shrug of his broad shoulders.

ML: This Jean-Luc chap. Is he available for seminars?

 

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

There are two approaches.  Approach one:

You:  “I’ve counted the turnips, and there are 42.  I’m just off down to the village.”

Ruby:  “There’s never 42!  There’s at least a couple of hundred.  Go and count again.”

Ten minutes later.  You: “I’ve counted again, and there’s 86.  Just off down to the village.”

Ruby:  “You what?  86?  Can’t you count?”

You:  “Actually, no, I’m no good at counting.  You’d better do it yourself.  I’m just off down to the village.”

This may work.  I have often found incompetence to be a great asset.   If not, try approach two:

You:  “Forget turnips.  Turnips are passé.  I’ve just finished The Silk Romance, and it’s all about salade d’epinards and tartes aux pralines.  We need to branch out with a little French cuisine.”

ML: You have made me lose count, Helena. Gah!
 

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

I have a blog here at www.helenafairfax.com


and you can find me on Twitter @HelenaFairfax

The Silk Romance is available from MuseItUp Publishing, Amazon, Kobo and other major e-tailers.

 

Thanks for having me on your blog, Mountain Lord.  Sorry about the havoc wreaked by my dog.  I have insurance, if your gnomes want to claim.  Throwing her some of Ruby’s meat and turnip pasty was a brainwave.  Her jaws have been welded shut for hours.
 
ML: Is that Mme Petruszka's recipe? Those pasty things originally date from the dark ages. We used to hurl them from the battlements at invading barbarians, some of who were even foolish enough to try eating them.
Anyway, you  are most welcome, Helena. We hope you visit again.
 
P.S. I am not sure the giant spiders would be keen to see your lovely dog again, but they will just have to get over it.

 

The Silk Romance
 
 

Jean-Luc Olivier is a courageous racing driver with the world before him.  Sophie Challoner is a penniless student, whose face is unknown beyond her own rundown estate in London.  The night they spend together in Paris seems to Sophie like a fairy tale—a Cinderella story without the happy ending. She knows she has no part in Jean-Luc’s future.  She made her dying mother a promise to take care of her father and brother in London.   One night of happiness is all Sophie allows herself. She runs away from Jean-Luc and returns to England to keep her promise.
 
Safely back home with her father and brother, and immersed in her college work, Sophie tries her best to forget their encounter, but she reckons without Jean-Luc.  He is determined to find out why she left him, and intrigued to discover the real Sophie.  He engineers a student placement Sophie can’t refuse, and so, unwillingly, she finds herself back in France, working for Jean-Luc in the silk mill he now owns.
 
Thrown together for a few short weeks in Lyon, the romantic city of silk, their mutual love begins to grow.  But it seems the fates are conspiring against Sophie’s happiness.  Jean-Luc has secrets of his own.  Then, when disaster strikes at home in London, Sophie is faced with a choice—stay in this glamorous world with the man she loves, or return to her family to keep the sacred promise she made her mother.
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
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Friday, 24 May 2013

The Mountain Lord is kidnapped by Lady Fury #pirates




We have just got back from a rather interesting few days.  It is the last time I am going anywhere by sea, I can tell you! We were bound for a gnome keepers' convention in Russia when our ship was boarded and taken by pirates.

Poor Findl is still recovering from the ordeal, and I fear he may never be the same again.




                                                           Capt. Flint's parrot has a whiff of Lady Fury's 96% proof rum


Follow the link to read about the fascinating encounter:


The Mountain Lord meets Lady Fury


The tattoo on Findl Nettlecrusher's left buttock





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Tuesday, 21 May 2013

My Goodness - Two Hopfield Tales for only £0.66 each! #ebooks



Spirit Archer and Campaign of the Gods are now only 66p on Amazon UK. 

Any cheaper and we would be giving them away!










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Sunday, 19 May 2013

Tea and Biscuits at with Author Alan S. Blood @AlanSBlood



The Citadel is just SO busy with interesting and charming guests right now.  Alan S. Blood is no exception.  Okay, I will admit that when I first saw his name, I thought he had been brazenly sent by Dracula to come and stir dissent among my minions, however nothing could be further from the truth.
 
Alan has entranced us all with entertaining tales and stories, and has even helped unlock some of the mysteries of 'English 'Morris Dancing'.  He gave us an expert demonstration in the village tavern, and blew the local clog dancers off the stage with his fancy footwork.  The only downside was his knocking the wild boar's head off the wall with his Morris Stick and his chatting up of the mayor's wife (the less said about this the better).
 
Alan is about to tell us another story, so I had best be off...
 
 
 

                                                                    Alan with his novel- 'Cry of the Machi'



We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

I live and work in a rambling (1873) Victorian house in Mid-Wales. My office window, next to my desk, gives me a spectacular view of the foothills of the Cambrian Mountains, unless they are obscured by cloud – which is sometimes the case ! Depending upon the variable, seasonal weather – it is a constantly changing scene and a most stimulating, wonderful place to write.

ML: This is probably why you are appreciating the view from the Citadel.  You are clearly a man who enjoys the majesty of nature.
 

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

The Citadel relates well to my own writing whereby some of my books feature the supernatural/paranormal genre and, as such, also border upon the realms of fantasy.

ML: You do have something of an affinity with the gnomes.  Just make sure you avoid anything Grundl gives you in a bottle.
 
 

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

An interview question on my recent 'Blog Tour' was : “Have you ever written anything that you think might never see the light of day ?”

Thinking about this, I remembered my novel “Jackson's Lane', that I wrote about ten years ago, which I had almost forgotten about. It is a complex psychological crime thriller that switches back and forth between a school and a psychiatric hospital and centres upon a teacher who suffers from the onset of schizophrenia with tragic, violent results as the situation deteriorates.

GMTA became aware of this and will be publishing the book in the near future.


Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

I am writing a major Historical novel, entitled 'Rogue And Royal', set in 17th Century Britain based upon one of the greatest events in English history which has never been fictionalised. However, I am keeping the details ‘under wrap’ for the time being! (It will eventually be published by GMTA).

ML: Hmm? You have piqued my interest.  We shall eagerly wait to see what it is about.



We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

Set them compulsory, difficult maths 'gnomework' task, each evening, to be handed in the next day!
 
 
 

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

Force him to watch the 'X Factor' and/or 'Strictly Come Dancing' and deny him the use of 'anti-boredom pills' !

ML: You are not the first person who has suggested using Simon Cowell as a method of subduing him.  There is surely some truth in it!
 

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

Get a court Order to force her to take part in 'The Great British Bake Off '.
 
ML:  Interesting? I wonder what the British bake nowadays.  I once tried a pie with four and twenty blackbirds in it. It was quite revolting!


I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world. Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?

Condemn all politicians to wash up filthy dishes and clean disgusting loos for the rest of their miserable lives.



How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?
 
 
 
                                                    ALAN AT ABERYSTWYTH ('ABER') 'ARBOUR !

Visit my website at : www.alansblood.co.uk

OTHER LINKS :Audio – http://www.alansblood.co.uk/

Alan S. Blood’s Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/alan.blood.75

Alan S. Blood’s Twitter Feed – https://twitter.com/AlanSBlood




BRIEF BIOGRAPHICAL UPDATE

Before qualifying from Reading University and enjoying a distinguished Teaching career, Alan S. Blood worked in Advertising and the Civil Service. He writes novels, plays and poetry and has widely travelled the world, especially undertaking research in Chile where some of his novel 'Cry Of The Machi' A Suffolk Murder Mystery' is set. His previous novel was 'Once Upon A Castle'.

He was a Cotswold Morris Dancer with two different, 'sides'. Alan is a keen wildlife photographer, in the Welsh countryside, and lives in a rambling (1873) Victorian house. He also enjoys painting and scraperboard engraving.






                                 




ALAN AT THE W H SMITH 'MACHI' BOOK LAUNCH



My current paranormal/supernatural novels are :




 


Uncle Toby had said that there would be castles to explore, with ghosts and things. This helps to cheer up the glum twelve-year old Lovell twins, Tom and Mary, leaving their schools and loving parents to be evacuated to wild Northumbria during World War II. Then the adventure begins. They live with their Aunt Victoria and Uncle Leslie, meet the loveable ‘Mrs. M’, a strange dog called ‘Scamp’ and, worst, the terrible private tutor, Miss Urquart, from whom they run away to find a mysterious castle seen through an old telescope. Now they are drawn into bizarre supernatural events of a time-warp between the war itself and ancient warfare. They encounter dark forces, as the story twists and turns, and are even rescued by the Royal Navy. Yet, this is only the beginning of more unexpected tragedies before the twins begin to escape from it all.

Originally published in the UK (1997) ’ONCE UPON A CASTLE’ was republished (2012) in the USA by GMTA PUBLISHING

It is available, worldwide on AMAZON & online retailers.

 
'CRYOf THE MACHI A Suffolk Murder Mystery’ published 2011 by ‘THE BOOK GUILD’
 
 




Like all English villages, the quiet and charming Thorpe Amberley in the heart of the Suffolk countryside has its secrets, its mysteries and its legends. It also has its traditions, such as the Tamberley Morris Men, a dysfunctional band of ‘blow-ins’, mainly professionals, who rehearse every Thursday and drink in the local pub.

Nothing much has served to disturb the tranquillity of Thorpe Amberley for centuries. Until now. A stunningly beautiful American woman comes to the village to teach at a nearby school, and her arrival coincides with the resurrection of deadly seeds of jealousy, evil and murder.

When the village is rocked by a series of gruesome and apparently ritualistic killings, it soon becomes clear that the local police are up against dark forces which they are wholly unequipped to deal with. Unlikely help comes from the shamanistic connection with a Patagonian ‘Machi’ through the Morris Men’s ‘Squire’ and the unexpected assistance of an ex-NYPD policeman.

A hunt for not one, but two serial killers, is on, and Thorpe Amberley will never be the same again.
 
Available from bookshops and online retailers
 
 
 
Thank you for coming, Alan. You are most welcome to come and entertain us again.
 
ML
 



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Friday, 17 May 2013

Tea and Biscuits with P.S Bartlett @PSBartlett


Today we have the lovely PS Bartlett here at the Citadel. Her magical debut novel Fireflies is already creating something of a buzz, and we are blessed that she has taken the time out of her busy schedule to come over and visit us. We, of course, especially love paranormal fiction here on Hrom Hora, and she had added a fascinating historical element to the mix.
The gnomes have taken a shine to her gentle ways and I fear that she will be taking a few of them back to Baltimore - whether she wants to or not. If I were her, I would put them straight to work in doing menial household tasks and constructing a secret writing chamber where she can escape to.


We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?
I’m extremely pleased to be here as well! I’ve never been fortunate enough to have visited a place like this. I grew up in the inner city, in a place called Baltimore. I’m the youngest of eleven children and now reside in the county. In America, we call it “suburbia.” It’s a nice place to live but if I had my choice, I’d be living on an island in the Caribbean.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
Absolutely! As I said, I’ve never been to a place like this. I love to travel and have been to many wonderful places but none so unique and interesting as the Citadel.

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.
I’m riding a rollercoaster. My debut novel “Fireflies” was released the beginning of April and so far, the reviews have been wonderful and I’ve been very happy with the whole process. However, it is also very stressful as I want and need to get back to writing but first and foremost, I must do everything I can to ensure that “Fireflies” continues to succeed.
ML: We are pleased it is going well. Kitty from GMTA is celebrated here in the Citadel, where she is one of the gnomes’ ‘4 Disciples of Gnomism’.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
If my husband is still awake when I get upstairs…oh you meant with my writing!
Absolutely! I’m working on a prequel to “Fireflies.” There is so much more of the story before the story that needs to be told.
ML: Ruby is over the moon about this and is already making space on her Kindle (Candle?) thing.

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?
As a mother, I find positive reinforcement a very good tool in getting little people to do their chores. However, I have no experience with gnomes and I’m afraid a trip to Chuck-E-Cheese or letting them stay up past their bed time wouldn’t work. Have you tried begging?
ML: I have tried most methods.. I usually have them begging for mercy in the torture chamber. You could be on to something with being kind to them. However, cheese is most definitely bad – they are addicted to the stuff, and it often leads to cheese riots.

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?
Well if he’s right, I’ve heard she’s a pretty cold fish anyway so just put her in a box and ship her back.  If he is mistaken, you can kill two birds with one stone and send the gnomes over to take his mind off of it. I’m sure they could keep him busy.
ML: Sending him some gnomes would be a sure way of tormenting him. I wonder if I could send a few through the post. Hmm?

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?
Counting turnips? How many turnips does one woman need I ask you? For goodness sakes most women only need a few and it shouldn’t take that long to count them. Just make a good guess and take her with you to the village for an evening of romance and moonlight. She’ll soon forget about vegetables and be counting stars with you.

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?
The damage is done. All you can do is start over and the best place to start is at the beginning.
Make it rain only at night and allow the sun to shine all day long. Play soft beautiful lullabies to lull the world to sleep and lively reels to rouse everyone from their beds in the morning - dancing. Throw lightening at the evil folk and fill every sail on the sea with a hearty wind. Please keep the snow only on the mountain tops. I love me some snow-capped mountains.
Last but not least…drown every turnip seed. Yes, that should do it!
ML: You certainly know how to keep a chaos lord busy! I suspect you have more knowledge and skills than you are letting on.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?






ML: Thank you for taking time to visit us, Peggy.  Best of luck with Fireflies, and we hope you are able to find the time to write its prequel.


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Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Interview with The Mountain Lord at The Edible Bookshelf





It is a very rare thing that I get out and about these days.  So imagine my joy when DelSheree Gladden asked me over to talk about The Chaosifier. It is at a place called The Edible Bookshelf.  In fact I had a sneaky bite of the shelf when DelSheree was not looking.  Delicious! 

Here is the link:



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Friday, 10 May 2013

Tea and Biscuits at the Citadel – DelSheree Gladden @DelSheree


   
Today I have the multi-faceted DelSheree Gladden sitting next to me. As well as being the author of the best-selling Twin Souls Saga , she also informs me that she has recently qualified as a Dental Hygienist. While her writing skills are clearly without doubt, I decided to check out her dental knowledge by rounding up a few of our denizens.  She bravely examined the mouths of two gnome keepers (who had three teeth between them), four gnomes (who all seemed to have false teeth), two maids (who both had very fine teeth indeed), and a creature we found lurking near the dungeons (which had a few very pointy teeth and scurried away before we could get its jaws fully open).
On DelSheree’s advice we have now put in a bulk order for 2000 toothbrushes and 400 reels of industrial floss.
 



We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

  Well, up until last week I was pretty much living at the college I attend, but now that I have graduated as a Dental Hygienist, I actually get to spend a little time at home with my family, who I think have been wondering where I’ve been for the last two years while I’ve been in school. I have spent most of my life in the high deserts of New Mexico. Despite the sand that is constantly being tracked into my kitchen and the tumbleweeds that never stop blowing into our yard, it is a fabulous place to live thanks to the absolute best sunsets and the ample inspiration for new books I find in local myths and culture.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
  I am getting a kick out of visiting the citadel! Thanks to school, it’s been a while since I’ve taken a vacation that didn’t revolve around me taking a licensing exam. Even with the gnomes hiding my toothbrush and stealing my socks, I’m taking full advantage of the chance to relax!
ML: I tried to warn you gnomes are sneaky. They know the best way to torment a Dental Hygienist is to hide your toothbrush!

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.
  I am getting ready for the release of my newest novel, “Wicked Hunger.” This is the first book in my new series, “SomeOne Wicked This Way Comes,” the story of two siblings cursed with a hunger for pain and destruction who must figure out the truth behind what they are before their entire family is destroyed. “Wicked Hunger” is set to be released July 2013 by GMTA Publishing.

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
On the literary front, I’ve got a whole mess of promoting, blog tours, interviews, etc. lined up for the release of “Wicked Hunger.”
On the personal front, I just graduated from Dental Hygiene school and I will be spending the next few months while I wait for my license looking for a job. Do the Citadel residents need their teeth cleaned?

ML: I think you will find that most of our residents have very few teeth left. It’s their diet, you see. And if you go down to the catacombs there are creatures with very BIG TEETH. We have lost quite a few gnomes down there.

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?
Use the same tactic that works on small children and writers who need to meet a deadline. Bribery.
This is how it works:
1.      Find out what the love most and offer it as a reward for working
2.      Give them their chore list
3.      Place what they want on a really high shelf (well, it may not need to be very high, they are gnomes after all) so they can see it, but not have it until they’re all finished.
This usually works pretty well with kids, but if it doesn’t, try chocolate. That pretty much always works on me.

ML: I like your style. Fight sneakiness with… sneakiness.


I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?
This one is simple. Find whatever candy you have lying around, and make him a new wife. It worked out pretty well for Peppermint Larry on The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack.

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?
Hire a turnip counter and take her on a vacation.

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?
Well, you definitely need an army, but you might want to branch out from gnomes. They aren’t the biggest and scariest creatures. Unless you’re going for the subtle takeover attack plan. They could be useful for sneaking into places and causing chaos that way. A really good army is hard to get. My good friend Libby Sparks had to go all the way to the spirit world to rescue hers.

ML: I think I may have to give Libby a call.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?
Readers can stop by to see what myths have come to life recently at:
  
ML: Thank you for coming, DelSheree. We wish you much luck in your dental and literary endeavours.


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Thursday, 9 May 2013

Folk of the Citadel



I suppose it is about time I talk about some of the staff I employ here at the Citadel. In fact, there are probably quite a few who are not even on my payroll, but just lurk around because they like it here. At any one time in the Citadel there are countless maids, footmen, porters, kitchen staff, watchmen, entertainers, dungeon keepers, drivers, tailors, craftsmen (and women), stable-staff and one or two wandering chevaliers and minstrels. I dare say we also have one or two rascals, ne’er-do-wells and rapscallions, but luckily the numbers are dwindling. Most likely due to my sending them over to England on character building exercises.
So, not even including the gnomes, who form the bulk of my engineering and scientific community, it is about time I mention a few key household members:

The Gnome Keepers
I doubt you will ever find a more hardy, put-upon and frankly strange bunch of people. Anyone whose job is to look after gnomes is always going to have a very specific set of talents and skills. Insanity is a pre-requisite of the job, and patience a definite plus point.  Fortunately the suicide rate among the keepers has finally levelled out and we no longer need to kidnap potential new staff.
Two families in particular have provided generations of venerable and worthy gnome handlers: The Bombas and the Zmoleks.

Stanislav
My faithful butler and longest serving member of the household.  I am not entirely sure old he is, but he was certainly around when Count Bunglehoff  had his fatal accident constructing the West Wing in 1762.
Stanislav is courteous, wise and utterly trustworthy. He has been dating vivacious town widow Mrs Svobodova for over a year now. There are even rumours that they may even tie the knot one day. Wouldn’t that be wonderful!

Boris
My chief spy and Head of Citadel Secret Police. He is not particularly a popular fellow. But his job description does say: “Monitor and promote chaos whenever and wherever possible.” He is also responsible for my personal security so you had better watch out!

Mrs Petruszka
Mrs Petruszka is the Citadel’s formidable head cook.  If the type of food you enjoy involves copious root vegetables and meat with the consistency of shoe leather, then you are cordially invited to dine with us.
She is currently single again after the unfortunate demise of her 6th husband, Mr Kopek. You can read about the tragic chain of events just below.



However, their happiness would prove fleeting. Once again the Jizera Mountains would claim the life of yet another of Mrs Petruszka's husbands...


 



Gentlemen, Mrs Petruszka has asked potential suitors to send her a photo and introductory paragraph. She has requested that you list any significant financial holdings. Send to:

Madame Ludmilla Petruszka
Head Cook
The Kitchens
The Citadel
Hrom Hora
The Karkonose Mountains
Central Europe


The Mountain Lord
I do not really want to talk about myself too much. I think it is better left for other people to say.  You can read about me on Wikipedia by following this link:  Rübezahl (Lord of the Mountains).

Princess Ruby
Rubena is my beloved and long-suffering spouse.  I am still counting turnips for her – a task which grows more and more impossible as the years go by.  At one time she was all set to marry Dracula. That was until she met me, of course. You can read more about these events in The Chaosifier. They happened such a long time ago, but I can still remember them as if they were yesterday. Sigh.

Vlad Dracula
He is not technically a member of the Citadel, but his presence is often felt here.
Actually, not much needs to be said about him really. Our feud goes through quiet patches and then suddenly things just get a bit, erm, out of hand. It is his fault, of course.


GAH!!!





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Campaign of the Gods - Trailer

The Mountain Lord on Twitter